A Man of Many Talents

Dear Cedric,

This letter reminds me of us growing up and ALLLLLLLL
the letters I used to write you. And you didn't write me back! Punk! I was pouring out my little heart……slavin' over extra chores for stamps……waiting ever so patiently for the mail like a lost puppy for nothing!!

Until you discovered the word processor that is!! You were too excited to write me then!! 'Cause like every OTHER man I know….you don't write! And most of 'em don't read either! So Sad!

Ok….I'm lying! But you know my letters outnumbered yours!

Anywho….. I don't really have nothing to say….nothing you don't already know.

You already know you're like my most favoritest person in the world and you've ALWAYS been MY Big Brother!! But I think the world should know you….and all of your many talents! In addition to being a super talented drafter, you're also:

• A practicing physician – Like that time I fell off my bike and skidded down the street! You put Vaseline on everything!! Even that little piece of flesh dangling from my chin!!! Very minimal scarring. I'm pretty sure I needed stitches….but I'm kinda glad you DIDN'T find your mom's needle and thread! 
• A practicing psychiatrist – For some reason, skidding down the street causes major laughter from your peers. All I need to hear was "Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't Cry….They're dumb!" to snap my self esteem right back into place. Yes, you were trying to save your own butt too, 'cause my tears equaled a butt whoopin' for you, but who doesn't need to hear that, even as an adult?!?! Next time you're upset at something or someone…..don't take Prozac!!! Just tell that person or that thing – "YOU'RE DUMB!!" and keep it moving.
  
• Football Coach – I know you and your friends just needed an extra person……but I think I had a very promising career as the first female quarterback in the history of the game. Until I got boobs…..
  
• A musical GENIUS – Every now and then I still catch myself singing one of your greatest hits like I'm Just Shaking This House and You Make Me Mad Like a Bumblebee. Classics.
  
• A Mad Scientist – How many police radio dispatches did we intercept with our butter knives and clothespins??? How many ants and leaves did we burn up with our magnifying glass? And my personal favorite: "If we light this firecracker….and put it in the tailpipe of Barbie's car, will it move?" It did move!!! From pink to black...
  

Awwww……don't try these things at home kids! We were trained professionals!!

And borderline arsonists……but that's neither here, nor there! =)

I love you!

~Me-Shell-A

P.S. - Don't think that first and last trip to Chicago counted for anything!!!!!! Extenuating circumstances…..You still need to come visit me!!!!