Do Right And Kill Everything

What do you call a woman that's not old enough to be a Cougar?? Or if the age gap isn't that big??  A lioness? A Bobcat?

Either way..........I'll take it.

I used to pride myself on being on top of what's hot in music......but with you, I have to admit that I was a little late in the game.  Everybody had already been talking about you.....and I'm just like, "Who is this kid?"

But then I was in my car, and I heard what the hype was about…

Baby you're my everything

You're all I ever wanted

We could do it real big

Bigger than you've ever done it…

 

Yea, I was snagged.

Then of course I had to look you up….to put a face with the words.

Light skin….clean cut. You're eyes are a little far a part.....but hey, you were still a cutie pie.

And Lord KNOWS I like 'em light skinned!!

I don't know why.........I can't call it!!

Everywhere I turned.........there you were! All over the radio!! All over TV.  Every magazine.  Everything you touched turned to gold.  A song wasn't a song unless you were on it! I was like "WOW! This kid is the bidness!!!"  You got flow and I don't feel like I need to repent when I listen to you.  The fact that I can actually understand you is equally amazing. 

Soooooooo not Gucci Mane......or Wacka Flocka!

GUCCI! 
(whatever….it's still fun to say!)

I'm in my car again.....the second greatest place of all my epiphanies (the first place being my bathroom) and I hear: 

Last name Ever 

First name Greatest
Like a sprained ankle, Boy I ain't nothin' to play with
Started off local, but thanks to all the haters,
I know G4 pilots on a first name basis

- - - - -
Yeah n---a I'm about my business,
Killing all these rappers you would swear I had a hit list,
Everyone who doubted me is asking for forgiveness,
If you ain't been a part of it at least you got to witness

 

OFFICIALLY.  HOOKED.

 

Fast forward to like yesterday, when I saw this documentary on MTV detailing your tour and your album process for Thank Me Later.......

 

WHY?!? WHY ARE YOU BEAUTIFUL?!??! Geez!!! I don't understand…..

 

Beautiful is not a word I use for men… But yea….that's what it is. Your smile lights up a room. You're smart. You're creative. You're ambitious. You're humble. You love yo' momma! AND YOU FINE?!??!

Good Lord! What more could a woman ask for?

Next time you're in Chicago….I am SO there!! I'll be the passed out bobcat in the front row!

Keep Doin' Right…and Kill Everything! (D.R.A.K.E.)

Sincerely,

 

Me-Shell-A

 
 

You’re a Virgin?!? ME TOO!! Let’s Get Chicken Strips….

Dear BFF – 

A lot of times you don't remember how your friends become your friends. They are your friends and that's that. There is no beginning and seemingly no end ever in sight.

Oh…but I remember our beginning! There I was at the Black Student Task Force banquet, minding my own business and making goo-goo eyes at Jabbar (sorry Sparkles). And I kept thinking, "this girl talks too much….and why is she so happy?!?!"

And you were so pretty I probably assumed you were stuck up….but that's Day 21's letter and I'm not gon' write you again….

((The people who think I'm mean now, you REALLY have no clue about freshman year Michelle……you're lucky you know me now….))

Anyway, I think it was on the way home that our bond was sealed:

You're 17? Me too! You went to an all girl school?? Me Too! You live in Seton? ME TOO!! You're a virgin? 

MEEE TOOOOO!!!

OMG!

And thus, I began to hide from you!! Who knew you were kind of a stalker?? =) I remember the days I used to lock my door ('cause you would just walk in if I didn't) or take my phone off the hook so I could get a nap between classes or my job.

"I know you're in there Michelle!! Let's go to the café' and get chicken strips!"

Chicken strips are obviously the way into my life……

But what does all this say about me? By the time I got to college, I was SOOO over the friendship thing….especially having a "best friend." I was tad jaded. Dealing with friend after "friend" who just leaves for no reason, no warning, and/or no explanation. I was prepared to do my 4 years and get out ASAP.  But I finally gave in!  You went from being my stalker to being my "road dog." All I had to say was, "Let's Go…" and we were off with our U-Passes on an adventure……even meeting random boys at random airports.......you were down for whatever!!

Thirteen years later, not much has changed. You're still my "road dog"!! We lost a little bit of time dealing with so called boyfriends......but you know, what they say....bros before ho's.....or whatever the girl equivalent to that is! I can still count on you to be down for whatever! You're friendship has taught me that there ARE indeed people who come into your life for a lifetime. I didn't have to do anything to get it, I don't have to do anything to keep it. I'm free to be me….and I like that.

Even though you won't hold my hand and you're about as affectionate as a tree and I ALWAYS have to wait on you to come downstairs......even when I lie and say I'm there and I'm really not just so you'll get movin'......and I still try break up with you every other week or so.....

I love you.

You know it.....

~Me-Shell-A


 

 

 

30 Day Letter Challenge

Dear Blog-land

I am hereby interrupting your irregular schedule of events with the 30 Day Letter Challenge! A friend of mine found this challenge through a friend of hers……and we've been talking about being living "epistles" at church…..and it's a shame that people really don't write letters any more…..and I need to write more often 'cause this here blog is about to BLOWUPTUATE and make me rich and famous…..and the world needs to know what I think about everything……… and maybe this will help me get some stuff off my chest and……..

Well….I just thought it would be a fun thing to do!!

Epistles, by the way, are letters sent to a distant person to communicate encouragement and/or instruction for those that are biblically challenged.

(((See Pastor!! I AM paying attention!!)))

And Yes….I do go to church faithfully!! Don't let the MFNs and the (%*)@*&## fool you…. Me and Jesus have an ever improving relationship….SO THERE!! :P

Anywho, here is your schedule of events that I am going to do my DARNDEST to stick to!

Hopefully you'll read them all. But whatever you do read, I truly hope that you will be encouraged or inspired or just feel like you know your girl just a liiitttttllllle bit better. =)

Stay tuned!

~Me-Shell-A

Day 1 — Your best friend
Day 2 — Your crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Benched

Dear Blog land-

I am not a sports fan by any means.  I can tolerate a football game or the 4th quarter of a basketball game during playoffs.  I know the difference between a touchdown and a free throw.  I know Dwayne Wade’s pretty cute.....but that's about the extent of my sports knowledge.

The only other thing I know is that somewhere on that field, court, or playing area is a bench.  A bench full of eager, ready and willing players hoping and a-praying that coach let's them in the game.....

What does this have to do with the price of tea in China Me-Shell-A???

Well, I need to inform you that men are the coaches.....and you, Ladies, are the players on the bench!

GASP!  I know..... This hurts me just as much as it hurts you.....

I was having a DEEP philosophical conversation with my friends about relationships. (‘cause really, what else is there to talk about?) Long story short, we were talking about men being "EXTRA" with females, with the knowledge that the likelihood of a relationship forming was slim to none. The male argument was that this is OK because she gets what she wants - attention from the opposite sex.  And he gets what he wants - could be sex, could be his paper typed or that hole in his sock fixed.....depends on the parties involved.  The female argument was that you can't string a woman along like that. Since I'm girl....you know where this is headed....

Fellas! Are You MFN Kidding Me?!?! You and I both know that we ladies are a little emotional and a tad bit off the deep end…no matter how NORMAL we may seem.  We've got the whole relationship planned in our heads as soon as you say “hi”. Somewhere in the universe there is a balled up piece of paper with the phone number to a good mechanic, a math problem adding up how much my girlfriend owes me for dinner, and my name first and your name last... Over and over and over again....

You know....just to try it on for size... and just in case I have to sign autographs.

Heck!! I've even fantasized our break up and who gets the kids!!! But I'm weird like that.....hence, the existence of this here blog. My issues have to be funnier to more people besides myself.

Anyway, let’s explore some reasons why “players” get benched in the first place…..as stated by the Softballchannel.com.

((did she for real do research?? yea….I got it like that….I keep telling you people I can’t make this stuff up!))

 

1.   Miscalculated value to the team:  Meaning you snuck up on him!!  He thought you were a chicken head….but lo and behold!! You’re cute, funny, smart, and you can put air in your own tire!!  Unfortunately, he is not ready and cannot deal with you right now….therefore, you must ride the pine.

2.   Injury: Not you….him!  And not his body….his ego.  Male ego…very fragile!!! You probably said or did something to hurt his little feelings…..not enough to be kicked off the team ('cause you still fine), but enough for him not to wanna deal with you on the regular.

3.  Team is winning easily: The dating world is a numbers game right now. If he halfway look good and is halfway employed, some woman will sign up for all of his BS. We know it…They know it.  Until he figures out that there is more to life than sowing his oats……watch out for splinters.

4.  Team is losing: He’s got more important things on his plate at the moment than dating you.  He just got laid off, his babymommas is actin’ crazy, he cracked his tooth playing basketball and he got a speeding ticket…..you are not on the totem pole….you might as well cop a squat.

5.   ATITTUDE: I’m not gon’ dig into this too much.  Ladies you already know! Check your finger snaps and your neck rolls at the door.

6.   You don’t mesh well: Sometimes things just don’t work out! Some “players” perform better under the style of certain “coaches”.  It happens.  Instead of wasting time, somebody needs to be mature enough to say “this is not working.”   

      As someone who has been benched, I can tell you it’s not fun. (Once simultaneously by two different “coaches”, but that’s a different blog for a different day.)  I’ve learned that all I can do is control me.  And I can’t promise that I won’t be ridin’ the pine again as I wonder if Mr. Right Now will figure it out ….but I can say that I’m looking for a whole new game….one on one!   Nobody rides the pine if we’re BOTH playing to win.

~Me-Shell-A