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So I was talking to a guy friend of mine in the not too distant past and I was politely informed - "Michelle.....you are not normal!"
So after playing the "Yes-I-Am-No-You're-Not" game for about 5 minutes, I finally asked him how do you define "normal"?
His response: Normal people cuss and bone!
Are you MFN kidding me? Has the world really gone to hell in a hand basket?? Has the world we live in become so backwards that what was taboo is normal and what was sane is now crazy?
The sad part is that he is not the first to inform me of my "abnormalities." I've heard it all. I've been called weird, crazy and my very VERY favorite -"SPECIAL"!!! Ooooo......
If all this were true, you'd think men who were in search of a little something different would be knocking down a sister's door. But Nooooo!!!! It turns out that they really do want "normal". And being the people pleaser that I am..... I gotta give the people what they want!
Scenario #1: Waitress screws up our order at the Grand Luxe
Normal: B****!!!! I ordered a MFN Sprite, not a MFN Coke!!! Get it right heffa with yo' dumb a$$!!! S***!!!
Me: Excuse me.... This isn't what I ordered. Bring me a Sprite please.
Scenario #2 You wanna know if "you da you da best...."
Normal: Well.....John was better than you.... And then Mike....oh you're better than Steve.... um Rasheed..... Then there's Donald....Dancer.....Cupid....Blitzen
Me: Of course Boo!!!
There. Is. No. Comparison. Literally.
**Disclaimer: Put a ring on it... All day Boo... All day!! =)
Scenario #3: Meeting the parental units.
Normal: Dammmnnnn!!! This a big a$$ house!! Y'all must have a S*** load of FN money!! Make it rain Pops! Make it rain!!!
Me: Wow!! Thanks for inviting me! I really like your house!
One day.... Some man is going to appreciate my "crazy"..... Or At least his momma will!!! =)
Me-Shell-A
4 comments:
Well, I love being normal! I'm kidding. Your blog is great. Keep it up. I hope you are doing well.
Well said Me-Shell-A. Well said. You need to take this blog on the road as a one-woman-show-stand-up act! It's dropping knowledge and it's hilarious all at the same time. It's our society that has people...especially women...all screwed up and questioning themselves. Keep up your "abnormal" ways. I know I will. Thanks for the blog.
~Emmyelle
Well stated! Loved reading this.."My Michelle"! =)
It's a wonderful thing not being "normal". It sets you a part from the rest. The man who recognizes your "abnormal" ways and can role with it is the one you want anyway. Hold on. He's coming.
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